That Old Feeling

I'm in my car, leaving the office, on my way to pick up some lunch.  I was doing it today, just like I was on April 20, 1999.  The talk radio show I'm listening to is suddenly interrupted with a news report that there are shots fired at a local school.  When it happened in 1999 it was shocking and horrifying and changed many people's lives forever.

 

Today it's all too familiar, we've heard and seen it all before.

 

Today it's a school I drive past everyday on my way to and from work.  I usually see the marching band practicing on the same athletic fields that today were being circled by helicopters.  Scenes of kids with arms over their heads, running or walking away.

 

It broke my heart in 1999 and still does today.

 

I don't know how to not care.  I really, truly, wish I could flip a switch and not feel it.

 

How do you do that??

 

How?